Her hair was blunt cut...

I am looking for a single adult female to destroy the remains of my self worth (easy job, the ex-gf didn't leave much). My ideal woman is female.

About me: I am 27, single, Japanese, annoying, 5'6" and sort of skinny, but I love to not exercise and hope to become a medium sized fatty in my twilight years. I smoke, drink, do a healthy amount of drugs and have yet to be convicted of a felony (give me time though, I'm young).

I have many cheap pickup lines to try out on the (un)fortunate woman of my dreams. Chief among them being "Everyone needs a little Japanese (points to self) in them" and the always unsuccessful "No really, I'm not that drunk."

Hmm.. what else? My friends say my taste in music sucks so I won't even bring that up here. I'm bad at math (they're going to revoke my asian membership soon), my parents don't like me, and I was once a little fascist in shorts (i.e. a boy scout).

As for references, I've been told by many women that I would make an excellent ex-boyfriend and that yes, they would think about sleeping with me if I was the last man on the planet. and there were no sex toys available. or animals.

I shall leave you with a quote from a friend:
"Ladies, boost your self esteem by hanging out with someone obviously inferior."